| There is a great deal of confusion and loss of any real biblical understanding on this subject. Many have given out weak, if any, guidance on this subject. I and others have spoken of the addiction patterns that are a part of self-gratification, but few ever go so far as explaining the need for complete eradication of masturbation, rather promoting moderation.
I have personally struggled my whole life with masturbation, starting at puberty. I came to realize that self-gratification is NOT something that a Christian, single or married, should believe that they can practice and live a holy and free life. To feed one’s flesh i.e. any form of sexual behavior including masturbation, outside the bonds of the marriage bed (which is not feeding one’s flesh but joining in oneness with one’s spouse), is to do the opposite of feeding the spirit. We are doing one or the other. We are going to either live by the spirit or the flesh. While scripture does not refer to masturbation, it is full of speaking of feeding the spirit verses feeding the flesh and having no tolerance for sexual sin.
Let me warn you away from going from one extreme to the other. Legalism is not freedom. If you have or have had a fall to masturbation it is not the end of the world and you should not feel like a failure. I would not encourage you to count the number of days since your last fall. For some that are in the midst of extreme addiction, cutting back is a good start. However not seeing it as sin and feeling like you deserve this is biblically incorrect thinking. We are to deny ourselves in every way and I believe that denying ourselves sexually is the biggest. Certainly this is completely contrary to our culture.
The strongest advice I can give you is to have a time with God every day, which includes reading God’s Word and some type of devotional and radical transparency through an accountability relationship with someone of the same sex. If you are married, your wife should be your first line of accountability. Keep SHORT accounts, using instant confession, but calling before is best. Call when you are anxious, lonely, but especially tempted. Having accountability software like Covenant Eyes or Safe Eyes is a must.
If you struggle with SSA, it should be someone who does not share this past (unless they are walking in victory and you have other accountability relationships). They must have victory over masturbation and pornography to be of any help and for you not to hurt their walk.
Additional resources:
The Transparent Life (CD) By McKrae Game
Called out of Darkness (CD) By Tony Moore, Associate Director of Truth Ministry
Masturbation: Doorway to Slavery By Mike Cleveland, Team Member, SettingCaptivesFree.com
What's Wrong with Masturbation? By Steve Gallagher, Founder of Pure Life Ministries
Porn-Again Christian, a frank discussion on pornography and masterbation - By Mark Driscoll
|
